Teach by Example
We are provided with a multitude of opportunities in our lives to decide whether we wish to manage or be managed by our experiences. At some point, it is probably beneficial to remember who actually holds the power in most circumstances (should it actually be utilized).
Because of the nature of my work, I am not fond of casual telephone conversations. I spend hours of time on the phone speaking with clients, so (when I am not working), it is not my chosen means of communication in most circumstances. I prefer to text or to simply meet in person. Since this may not be the norm for everyone, I always make a concentrated effort to relay this information to others (“here’s something that you should know about me.”). This is my way of alleviating any uncomfortable assumptions that may arise, so that the people in my life do not unnecessarily personalize my choice as a reflection of my relationship with them. In harsher terms: this is not about you, so any attempts to make it about you are the result of your own feelings/story of victimization, inadequacies, insecurity, etc.
Despite my intermittent reminders of my preference, there are those who continually choose to ignore my desires in favor of their own. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course (it’s nice that someone actually has a desire to speak with me). It does not change my disdain for phone conversations, however. So, I am left with a choice. I can answer the call despite my very real irritation and disgust for what seems to be blatant disregard. I can remind them yet again that this is not my favorite means of communication. Or, I can simply not answer the phone. By choosing the later, they will eventually learn that I am not going to answer the phone. If they fail to learn the lesson, they can continue to fuel their own frustration by disregarding both my stated preferences and the law of cause and effect. That is up to them. It is no longer my responsibility.
Naturally, there are much bigger battles to fight. If the worst thing in your life is that someone wants to speak to you when you are not receptive, that is a life of abundant blessings! It is simply a reminder that, in most cases, there are no victims.We have the power to manage ourselves in relation to others.
Success or sabotage? We teach people how to treat us, not by our words, but by our actions. Are you asking for what you need to succeed?
Is this going to be an incredible day? Rather than hoping that the day rises to your expectations, take the time, energy, and attention to make it in your image of “incredible.” This day is never coming again.