Allow the Grief.
Grief is an unwelcome visitor. It often comes without invitation or warning, like an unexpected wind that blows in and disrupts all that seemed comfortable. Attempting to manage it is often a futile exercise. In a moment of seeming tranquility, grief will provide a sucker-punch of a memory. We may succeed in delaying our interaction, but it will have its time with us no matter how harsh our objection. The tears will return; it will seem as if it is all starting over again.
Allow it. We can run, but we cannot hide. It will find us. It is best to simply open up to its excruciating gift.
Death invites us to become intimate with our beliefs about what (if anything) comes after. We can decide that those who have transitioned are at peace, in good company and eternally blessed. Ultimately, it does little to minimize the feelings of loss, sadness and desolation for those who are left behind.
When we feel their presence, that is them. When they visit us in our dreams, that is them. When we see their face on the neck of another, that is them. Their bodies may have parted, but their imprints on our lives is forever present.
Success or sabotage? Grieving is not a one-size-fits-all process. It may be ugly, jolting, embarrassing, inconvenient and unwelcome. It is a moment by moment challenge that must be experienced.
Is this going to be an incredible day? In the midst of the sadness, allow the tears to be a simple reminder of the love that was shared—a tribute to the influence, affect and gift that was their life. Death does not discriminate. It is the one thing that connects us all. The fact that we are here to experience it (in all of its forms) is incredible.